Crowned Mother

A reflection, written in 2018, on the weight of the divine journey of motherhood.

“They say heavy is the head that wears the crown.”

Motherhood doesn’t automatically place you in a permanent state of joy and self-sacrifice. Just like any new journey, even when it’s a conscious choice, there will be moments of anxiety and fear. The decision to become a mother may be meditated upon, but that doesn’t mean you are immune to the weight of it.

Being a mother doesn’t instantly equip you with supernatural patience or faith; those qualities require work and adjustment. It’s a transformation, going from Maiden to Mother. Your time is no longer just your own, and that shift takes some getting used to.

I want all mothers to understand that it’s okay to feel uncertain or unsure some days. In our modern world, where many of us mother without a village, the weight can feel overwhelming. It’s okay to cry, to feel burdened, to be frustrated. Those moments are part of the process. This journey is an ongoing awakening— a Masterclass in Enlightenment. When we stay open, the divine life lessons will come.

Today, I felt tired and unsure. I felt the weight of the many responsibilities I balance daily. And while I’m sure of my journey, my purpose, and my path, there are still days when I feel the heaviness of my decision. The decision to be a mother is a mighty responsibility. I hold space for another human being, and yes, some days it feels like the weight of that responsibility is too much to carry. It is heavy.

I have been crowned… we have all been crowned. We’ve been entrusted with the mission of motherhood, and yes, some days, this crown feels too heavy. But through it all, we grow, we adjust, we learn, and we unlearn. We become wiser, stronger, and more resilient. It’s a process, but we are never alone in it. We are channels of The Divine Mother Spirit - that dwells within us.

So to all mothers ~especially those who feel like this crown is too big or heavy some days~ trust your process. You were trusted with this crown for a reason.

Be kind to yourself. Be patient with yourself.

Trust your process, Mother.

---

This is Reflection 3 of 10 from my e-book ‘Awakening through Motherhood’.

E-Book is now Available! Purchase here.

This book contains poems and reflections cultivated from my experiences in motherhood, spanning from 2017 ~when I became a mother for the first time~ to 2021, when I birthed my second child. It captures perspectives on the journey of spiritual awakening, intergenerational healing, and conscious mothering, all from the lens of someone coming from a background shaped by once-colonized cultures.

I’m currently in the final stages of editing each page ~myself~ while balancing the daily rhythms of life as an off-grid, from-scratch homesteading mama. It’s definitely been an experience in fine-tuning my “flow schedule,” that sacred dance between honoring divine flow and staying organized ~getting done what needs to be done without procrastinating, yet making space for rest and intuitive recalibration.

Motherhood ~specifically my conscious mothering journey~ has been a radical path of transformation and shadow work (we’ll talk more about that in time).

Each of us, as mamas, comes from lineages with unique strengths and traumas. Conscious mothering is the work of acknowledging both and extending that awareness into our present-day family life and into modern society. To be conscious as a mom is to take responsibility for both the light (the bliss) and the shadow (the challenge), and to walk the path of organic co-creation with life itself.

For me, this has required deep inner work ~clearing intergenerational trauma, starting from scratch, and facing generations of unprocessed emotions~ side by side with my husband and our children.

I’m so looking forward to sharing this work ~especially with those who are part of my virtual village of reciprocal support.

My goal for this book is 1,000 sales, though I’m humbly breaking it up into small milestones. All my digital creations are sown with the intention of being seeds of nourishment ~allowing me to provide for my family as a matriarchal figure rooted in purpose.

I’ll let you know once the book is officially available for purchase, and I’m really looking forward to your reflections ~especially on the poems and reflections that explore more vulnerable themes, like the manifestation of the Unhealed Black Matriarch archetype: the women in our lineages who were destined to be leaders rooted in primal matriarchal rhythms but, due to the mental programmings of patriarchy, became ‘curses’ in their own lineages.

Though this book is deeply rooted in my perspective as a Black, Jamaican, conscious mother, I believe it will resonate with all mothers who feel called to do the work of holistic healing ~to cultivate healthier family lives and transform the relational patterns in their lineages. My hope is that it, also, inspires not only connection, but also empathy for the unique paths that other mothers walk, especially those shaped by the realities of racial and socioeconomic injustice.

In the meantime, until my official launch, if you’d like to plant a seed of support, you may pre-order the book by sending $22 to my CashApp (please include your email and any message you’d like to share). Upon launch, your digital copy will be sent directly to your inbox.

Thank you for your intentional presence, your trust, and your support.

~ Makeda.

---

Table of Content

---

Here are some photos I took back in 2020, during my pregnancy with our second child. At the time, we had just moved back to Jamaica and were quarantined in a quaint little apartment tucked away in the hillsides of Irish Town.

As always, I felt the urge to create something from the inspiration and organic bliss that life was offering in those quiet moments. This little corner had such a beautiful aesthetic, and the hat ~definitely a statement piece in the Airbnb~ added the perfect touch.